Covid Vaccines Pulled From Market!*
CDC cites embalmers’ clots as ‘area of concern.’
*Note: This is a piece of satirical fiction, a story that mixes truth with made-up information and quotes to possibly promote new ways of thinking about existing topics.
ATLANTA, GA - In a press conference at the Centers for Disease Control this afternoon, CDC officials said the agency has issued guidance, instructing all American healthcare providers to immediately cease administering Covid-19 vaccines and boosters.
Officials cited “strange, white, fibrous clots” that large numbers of embalmers are reportedly finding in an an unknown number of bodies as an “area of concern” which, “out of an abundance of caution,” justifies ceasing all future shots until potential safety issues can be studied in greater detail.
Dr. Manley Pinkerton, a senior scientist at the CDC, said a CDC employee recently discovered press reports in the “alternative media” that purport to show that “70 percent” of surveyed embalmers are finding these clots, clots which had never been discovered by embalmers until after the roll-out of the vaccines in December 2020.
“We were stunned to learn of these reports,” said Dr. Pinkerton. “When our scientists looked into these reports, it was determined the existence of these novel clots might be an area of concern and, after consulting with experts in other agencies, decided to impose today’s vaccine moratorium out of an abundance of caution.”
At the moment, it’s impossible to know if the clots might cause health risks to citizens or, perhaps, contributed to the deaths of some of the decedents, Dr. Pinkerton said.
“Generally speaking, physicians are concerned when they discover over-sized, long white, fibrous clots in the venous or arterial systems of patients,” Dr. Pinkerton said. However, he added “it’s possible these large new clots do not pose any kind of health risk and may even provide important health benefits to patients.”
Whistleblower was a new intern at agency …
CDC officials refused to identify the agency employee who discovered these reports.
“For national security reasons, some details must remain confidential,” said Dr. Pinkerton.
After the press conference, this news organization was able to identify the CDC employee, a female intern who began working at the agency approximately four months ago. The employee, who is on paid administrative leave, requested her name not be used “because I was told not to speak to anyone.”
The whistleblower said she accidentally discovered the reports of “embalmers clots” while researching another topic on her personal computer.
According to this source, CDC employees are instructed not to visit any sites that have been rated “unsafe” by Media Matters, NewsGuard and other Internet safety organizations under contract with the Department of Homeland Security.
However, using her own computer, the whistleblower discovered “several hundred” articles, video podcasts and photographs on “embalmers’ clots.”
“I couldn’t believe what I was reading and seeing,” she said.
After discovering these sites, the whistleblower prayed over what she should do next. When her husband and parents said they would still support her if she reported what she learned, she spoke to her supervisor on Thursday.
This supervisor immediately reprimanded her for frequenting sites that traffic in “disinformation” and “misinformation” and told her to never again mention this to anyone.
However, she took her information to four other supervisors and mentioned that she was going to tell her story to Tucker Carlson or Elon Musk unless someone “at least looked into this.”
“I have no idea how to get in touch with those people, but that’s what I told them,” she said.
When asked if she was afraid of losing her job, the whistleblower replied, “I actually don’t like this job. The people who work here are - I don’t know - different. They can have this job.”
Clots could affect hundreds of millions of people …
To date, approximately 70 percent of Americans - about 230 million people - have already received at least one dose of Covid vaccine and/or one of several booster shots.
At Sunday’s press conference, CDC officials stressed that the vaccines are still considered “safe and effective.” However, Dr. Pinkerton added, “For people who died with these clots in their veins, they might not have been quite as safe. It’s really too soon to tell.”
Reports of large, white fibrous clots first began to emerge in the alternative media around January 2022, when one embalmer from the UK and one from Alabama disclosed they were routinely finding them in deceased bodies.
Trade embalmer Richard Hirschman, of Ozark Alabama, reported on Jane Ruby's show that he was finding these clots in approximately “50 percent” of the bodies he embalmed. Hirschman also said that beginning in 2021 and 2022 - after the Covid vaccines had been widely administered - he was embalming far more bodies than he ever had.
In numerous interviews, Hirschman said it didn’t take long for him to come up with the hypothesis that these new shots might explain the “terrifying” clots he kept finding.
Hirschman and other embalmers were later featured in the documentary “Died Suddenly,” which was viewed by millions of people despite being labeled “dangerous misinformation.”
Dr. Pinkerton and other CDC officials said they were unaware of Hirschman and had never heard of this documentary or never viewed any of the scores of interviews Hirschman and other embalmers have done.
“If we had known about these claims, we certainly would have contacted Mr. Hirschman and other embalmers who are reporting the same findings,” said Dr. Pinkerton.
Dr. Pinkerton also noted that no “trusted” news organization had published any stories on embalmers clots “and we do have staffers who monitor news reports from credible news organizations,” he said.
Dr. Philip McMillan, a UK doctor who produces a health podcast, and Tom Haviland, a data analyst who commissioned two embalmer surveys, have also talked to whistleblowers who report finding the “white, fibrous clots” in living patients.
One anonymous whistleblower interviewed on Dr. McMillan’s show said surgeons and cath-lab employees were extracting these never-before-seen clots from living patients in emergency surgeries “three to 10 times” every week.
Dr. Pinkerton said the agency did have plans to interview at “least a handful of embalmers.”
However, agency employees have yet to survey hospital workers to ascertain if the claims that these new clots are being found in living patients are credible or, perhaps, can be corroborated.
“Those hospital health care professionals are extremely busy and, as you know, we have limited resources at the CDC, but that might be a study we would consider at some point in the future,” he said.
CDC officials take a few questions …
During a brief question-and-answer session at Sunday’s news conference, a reporter for The Epoch Times asked Dr. Pinkerton if the public should now question previous statements where CDC officials assured the public the mRNA vaccines were safe.
The reporter also asked why public health officials or local coroners hadn’t ordered far more autopsies of vaccinated citizens who “died suddenly.”
“Your question is really a hypothetical and, as you know, we try to stay away from hypothetical questions. I will note that the vaccines had already been proven to be safe, so there was no need to do any autopsies, which are quite expensive.
“Regarding previous statements and guidance issued by this agency, I think our record speaks for itself and the vast majority of Americans trust what the world’s best scientists have said time and time again.”
This news organization reached out to spokespeople for Pfizer and Moderna for comment but multiple phone calls and emails had not been answered at press time.
Confidence in shots seems to be waning,
‘vaccine hesitancy’ is growing …
Published reports have said that the percentage of Americans still receiving vaccines or boosters has plummeted from more than 80 percent in many states to approximately 10 percent with the most-recent recommended booster.
When asked how many booster shots he had received, Dr. Pinkerton said he could not disclose that answer “for obvious HIPAA reasons.”
A reporter also asked CDC officials if the significant rise in excess deaths since the vaccine roll-outs could, in part, be related to the embalmers’ clots.
Dr. Pinkerton replied, “We are not aware of any rise in excess deaths. If there has been an increase, which we are not confirming, it’s almost certainly been caused by Long Covid or perhaps Climate Change.”
Another journalist asked CDC officials what guidance they would give citizens who may have white, fibrous clots in their bodies right now?
“For now, we are just calling for a pause in vaccination while we look further into these recently-discovered reports,” said Dr. Pinkerton. “At some point, I’m sure our partners in the pharmaceutical industry will develop medicines to effectively treat these new clots. I would just tell citizens to monitor our website for future guidance.”
A CDC media affairs employee then announced there would be no other questions, although the CDC employee did state, “Remember, flu season will be here soon. The CDC recommends everybody get their flu shot.”
Note: This is a breaking news story. Further updates to come.
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